Forgiveness and letting go.

My mental health journey was a topic I shared on the internet almost a full year ago. Many of you reached out and told me about problems you were going through yourself, and many others sent me very thoughtful messages and showed your love and kindness towards me. Mental health has always been something I struggled with so tremendously, and it’s not something that gets better overnight. It’s a process, a long hard process that takes so much inner strength and courage. I was recently hospitalized, (yes I know I’m sharing this on the internet and that’s very personal), and while in the hospital I made so many self-discovery’s . I also met an amazing man who went through his own mental health problems and became an advocate for mental health after many years of struggling and dealing with his own trauma. He taught me to be open to my feelings, to accept reality, to let it out, and to know that it’s okay to cry about things. He also helped me find forgiveness. You don’t have to forgive people too make them feel better, you need to forgive people for YOU to feel better. Holding grudges, and remembering past actions done to you isn’t going to hurt them, it’s just going to become a burden that lies on your chest, and it will get heavier and heavier the longer you hold onto that. This month is national suicide prevention month, and I’m so glad I stayed. It’s harder to know this than it is to say it, but It. Gets. Better. I promise you it does, I'm living proof of that, and so many people around you are living proof of that. I never did okay with change, but for the first time in my life I feel like I can breathe, I never thought I would make it this far, but I'm so glad I did. An old friend of mine used to tell me “In the end, it will all be okay, and if it's not okay it’s not the end,” those words will always stay in my mind, and I choose to live by those daily. To move forward you have to let go of the past, and that is so hard, trust me I know. But you cannot hold onto things that no longer benefit, you or that hold you back instead of pushing you forward. In the end, some of our biggest enemies are ourselves, we deserve to show ourselves forgiveness too. I have made plenty of mistakes, mistakes that I thought would be the end of my world. But it’s never the end of the world, it’s the end of a chapter. Close the book, let go, forgive (forgive uyourself too), and move forward. I couldn’t have made it through this summer without so many incredible people in my life that helped me through it, and i’ll be forever thankful for them. Life is never as bad as it seems, better things are waiting out there for you, and there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

-amaris